Whether a millennial with zero dough or a 40-something recouping from the Recession, these budget tips brought to you by The Onion are sure to keep money in your pocket.

Let the budgeting begin!

  • Start thinking early about where to trim costs. Gradually fall out of touch with family and friends for a decade prior to the ceremony.

  • Be sure to book the venue at a time when rates are typically lower, such as 1:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m.

  • Go digital! Online invitations are a great way to save money and create the classy feel you want your marriage to have.

  • Think practically about what gifts you’ll need as a newlywed couple. Consider opening a registry at your local bank.

  • Instead of hiring a DJ, don’t.

  • Should expenses exceed your budget, remember that there’s nothing wrong with displaying Indian or even Congo peacocks in your wedding menagerie.

  • Personalize your reception by enlisting a close friend to take the pictures, design the invitations, arrange the flowers, drive the shuttle bus from the wedding to the reception, and cook dinner for 213 people.

  • Rest assured that no matter what you spend on your wedding celebration, it’s still a unique expression of you and your spouse that will be picked apart and scrutinized by your loved ones for years to come.

While The Onion is a noteworthy publication, it is not known for its’ wedding planning tips.  Please do not follow any of these, or your wedding will look like this!